When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.
To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart.
If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.
I felt so-so about this novel. It is a beautiful story of love and loss, coupled with tolerable teen angst. HIAYLM tells the story of the loss of Theo, and the impact his sudden death has on his ex-boyfriend Griffin, boyfriend Jackson, and best friend Wade. The grief and guilt is perfectly captured, it’s very real and very believable. With it, the complex feelings people may experience when faced with this type of tragedy.
What bothered me is the main character Griffin (or is Theo the main character, and all the others revolve around him? Food for thought!) is so reliant on others for every aspect of his self-worth and self-love. When he doesn’t seem to move past that through the book, it became frustrating to read. I know [SEMI-SPOILER AHEAD – JUMP DOWN TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH] at the end we have the intimation that he will seek counselling and he will get better, I would have preferred the story to have a little more growth from Griffin as a character.
The story is told in dual timelines – ‘today’ and ‘history’. We see how Griffin and Theo got together and how they ended their relationship of firsts. The book teased a big reveal but by the time I got to it, I felt it a little predictable and anti-climactic.
With that said, this was a very accessible book with very a very important message beyond the surface of the death of a friend/lover. The more books produced by authors that represent LGBTQIA life, the better.